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Getting Into Character, or How Not To Laugh?

For the most part, I'm a giggle-puss, an inappropriate laugher. Throughout my school years I was always been called out for laughing and being a jokester. So when my friends got wind of my career as a phone sex operator, moreso some of the wacky calls, they just could not fathom that I could be doing this job without laughing.

But I do. I have yet to laugh, unless it was at a clients joke or in the appropriate course of conversation--sissification, domination, in particular.

Honestly the key to not laughing is to not be you. And please my fellow and wannabe PSOs, do not be you. It will fuck with your head if you remain yourself. Just like a doctor shuts off the part of themselves that has any emotion while they're with a patient, you must pack away your core essence when you hop on the horn.

It is acting. Nothing more and nothing less. I remember the moment I realized I was doing good at this. I sort of stepped out my body and caught myself in this moment where I was playing a silly teenage girl and teasing a guy with my panties. No longer was my faux youthful voice an effort, everything that came out her mouth was not anything I would ever say. I became my character. So if you can, and you will if you're good, become your character or characters for each call, not only do your calls go more smoothly, but become more believable for the client.

I also realized I was on a totally other plane of consciousness one night when I was in the middle of a heavy domination call and a family member decided to come get something out of my office. While I attempted to be in character, I lost my mojo and the call went to hell. I can't fathom how the phone sex pioneers who worked out of office boiler rooms managed to do their jobs. My room is my stage...it is not rare for me to go about my room while on a call, picking up items for a description, or to actually use them in a call. For instance, rummaging through my undies for a panty lover was a lot easier when I was actually doing it. I've caught myself, eyes closed, on my knees feigning the movements of fucking someone with a strap-on. It allowed me to not only be that character, but to bring her language to my lips.

So when the shift is over, my voice is sore and my ear is hot, I am back to myself. I unwind, and jot down in my journal some of the more bizzaro calls, laugh my ass off with my boyfriend, or just laugh all alone.

What's That Sound?

"Squeal like a pig!" does not only "Deliverance" make, it also is a pretty common phone sex request. Yep. I shit you not. So are requests to fart, burp, sneeze, queef, and sing, scream, and pretty much any noise a human or animal can make, there is a dude out there who gets off on it.

Some stuff is fairly easy to do. I for instance was slapping my ass a lot of for customers when my boyfriend pointed out, that I could easily just clap my hands together. But then I like my ass slapped....

Other PSOs I know keep sound files on their computer for the various popular requests. Farting, sneezing, etc. That is easy to do, but just make sure you know where those files are when you are on the phone! Likewise, online soundboards are great tools for making barnyard noises and the like that are well, often hard to do on demad. I can burp on demand, not fart. Demure I am not, but my ass noise skills are lacking.

For the love of all the Gods and Godesses, I hope you can fake an orgasm--especially you females. Say what you will, but I think you've must have faked it a few times, assuming you're a non-virgin.

Anyway, I personally keep a bunch of soundboards in a bookmark folder just for my PSO work.

Here are a few good ones:

Farts

Burps (most of them sound kind of male, if you know of a better burp board, please do share in the comments)

Animals

I couldn't find a queef soundboard, but if you're ambitious here's a "how-to queef" video. If anything, it's hilarious:

Tools For Phone Girls V.1

Found two new good graphic and design sites tonight while tooling around. Thought I'd share.

Wix.com is the most mod profile generator I've seen in a long time. Web 2.o overdrive. You can do myspace profiles, web flyers, and much, much more.

Also I ran across Graphix for Flirtz which has a nice logo generator and some good links.

Calling All Phone Sluts

I'd love to hear from you! Any topics you'd like to see covered? Blogs, resources, you'd like to see linked?
Leave a comment!

Golden Throat-Your Biggest Asset

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Sitting Pretty

If you're going to be a phone slut, you've GOT to be comfortable. I learned the hard way. One night I was balls deep, as the guys say, into a call and the shitty pink director's chair I was sitting on decided to just fold in on itself. Luckily, I was able to work my gasp into the call, but I swore that moment the money from that call was going to outfit myself with a comfortable place to sit while taking calls.

Now, three years later, I have a top-notch office chair for my desk, but I generally lounge on a cute chaise lounge in my office cum boudoir. I decided that a sexy atmosphere makes for sexy calls!

So while I have my phone and computer handy, I also have incense burning, my toys handy in a cute corset designed toy box, oodles of candles, and a bookcase teaming with tomes of erotica and sex guides. Oh yes, I've amassed a nice little porn collection over the years. The books feed my brain, and have helped me build up my sexual vocabulary, but the DVDs, well, those have inspired many a scenario for a call.

As in my previous post where I recommend boning up on fetishes, no pun intended, I also recommend viewing all sorts of smut, even the kind that don't get you off personally. You may not have a bisexual bone in your body, but if you have a guy calling to ask you about say, fucking him and another girl, well, it doesn't hurt to know what that scenario might exactly look like. Right? Pouring through tons of images of cocks and cunts might seem redundant, but when you get calls where a guy wants to you describe every cock in the gang-bang you just had, you better have some good mental images in the bank. In fact, you better know what a gang-bang actually looks and sounds like!

Here are a few links to some good sources of smut!

Edens Fantasys-for books, toys, videos

Red Tube-For Free Porn Clubs

Literotica-Lots of dirty stories!

Fetish Calls Part 1. -Educate Yourself

"Nothing shocks me!" you may say to yourself. "I can handle any kind of call!" But can you? Look around the room you are in? See all the objects around you, chances are there is someone out there who has a fetish for it. Shoes, balloons, underwear, stockings. See that table? There is someone out there who wants to be your table for you to rest your legs. That ashtray with the cigarette smoldering? There are fetishists who not only love smokers but would do anything to be a human ashtray. If there is an act, object, smell, taste, sound, person, thing or animal, chances are there is a guy out there who needs to incorporate it into his aural fantasy.

This is where you come in.

Can you really handle it? If a guy calls you up and wants you to take a crap on his face, over the phone of course, are you going to respond by : a)Go "ewwwww, yuck!" b)laugh at the caller or c)go with it, "I'm squatting on your face right now, you are my human toilet!" If you're going to shun or laugh at the caller, perhaps being a PSO is not the job for you.

True,the scat calls are far and few between, but what I am getting at here is that if you're to be the ultimate PSO, you've got to educate yourself on the world of kink and fetishism, be willing to listen and respond to pretty much anything. Fetish and kink does not stop at Domination and Submission, and all it's accouterments. It is a vast world of various types of play and behaviors.

Now depending on who your employer is, it may be ok to not take calls you're uncomfortable taking, but that is between you and your agency. That all said, it is best to politely decline instead of chastising the caller for what you deem abnormal. Chances are they are calling YOU because they can't share their fantasies, no matter how twisted, in their real-time life.

The web contains oodles of information about various fetishes and kink. Educate yourself, open your mind. Being a superb PSO is not all about playing telephone blow-job queen. Learn what goes on beyond the realm of regular, "vanilla," heterosexual in & out sex:

Here a few good starting spots:

The Fetish List FAQ

Wikipedia's list of Paraphilias

BDSM Information

Pro Phone Sex 101. Getting Ready For Your Call

One thing this phone slut has learned through the years is that you need to give yourself some time to prepare before you log-on, dial-in, or whatever you do to start a shift.

Space and Time

First of all you must have a dedicated space for your calls. An office with a comfy chair or your bedroom are perfect. It is very important that you have a space that will allow you

a)privacy

b)little to none background noise: Meowing cats, barking dogs, crying babies....those are not going to get your customer off, in fact, they'll kick them back to reality and piss them off. Likewise a snickering friend or angry boyfriend is not going to cut it. You really need to ensure that those who you live with will be flexible with your work lifestyle. The hours you are working are just that, working. You have the luxury of working from home, so you can roam with your cordless and do minor things--but don't, trust me on this, decide to fry up some bacon before you log in.

Speaking of noise, put your cellphone on vibrate, turn off the volume on your computer.

Bonus Tip: My boyfriend knows if I put a scarf over my office doorknob I am on a call and to let me be.

Materials

Papers & Pens

Contingent on what service you work for, you might have various papers you need to keep handy.

A long-time PSO shared with me her number one tip to being successful was keeping a diary. Each day she logged her call times and then some notes about the customers. If you're more into keeping electronic records, an Excel spreadsheet with same information can be just as handy. Still keep a notepad handy to jot down notes about the guy-does he like something in particular, a certain word, spanking?

Also in your PSO arsenal you should always have at the ready:

• A cold drink (try to sip out of it discreetly). I love soda, but I've switched to iced coffee during my calls. There are burping fetishists, but in general, most callers are not. The voice of a PSO is just as valuable as the voice of a singer.
• Throat lozenges, hard candies, or after a long night a low-calorie popsicle is very soothing. A popsicle also makes great blow job noises!
• A vibrator with batteries, or one that is plugged in, if you don't have a paddle or a crop, have a belt or a ruler handy for making slapping sounds on your hand.
• I keep several lists of different sexual words, phrases, and questions posted on my bulletin board--this comes in hand when you have a call that is going no where.
• A stopwatch or a phone that has a timestamp. Make sure you get paid!

Head Space

Give yourself at least 10 minutes before your shift to relax, and to get ready to switch gears to your character. For me, just getting my materials out usually gets me in the right headspace, but some girls might find just doing some simple mediation might help them get there.

While You're Waiting

I have found that while waiting for calls to roll in, checking out some porn sites and sex blogs get me in the right frame of mind, and give me some great material to work with my customers.

Check out the links on my blog, they'll keep you busy for hours!

And if you keep waiting....keep busy, don't fall asleep--that is the kiss of death. You might miss a call, or sound groggy. Watch a movie with the mute button handy, work on your hobbies or other business. Just be bepared to switch gears from the regular you to the phone slut you in 3 seconds!

Great How-To Have Phone Sex Site

Want to have hot phone sex, but don't know where to start? This site has all the information you can use and more. It's a basic how-to guide of the UK, with information for regular folks looking to spice up their love lives to any one starting out as a PSO (that's "Phone Sex Operator"). It's pretty basic and underneath the advice, they're really shilling their services, but definitely a worthwhile read for newbies.